Let us assume that you were once the cheesiest person on earth, and then later on you turned bitter. You point your finger to the one who left you (or you left). The story cannot end there; there will still be issues between you and your ex from the pits of burning souls.

I do not assume that the exes from hell are mostly males. It’s just not fair to their gender.

If you are like me, who has more than a dozen exes, you can relate to this. I cannot say all my exes are from hell; I’d like to give some of them the benefit of the doubt.

The first ex from hell is worse than a gossiper who can’t shut his or her mouth. So you two ended up your relationship for whatever reason you both have. This ex would not end the chapter after the break up and instead, would tell everybody else how horrible you were (you can just use your imagination). This ex loves to kiss-and-tell.

The second ex from hell is a creepy stalker. He or she will track you down for as long as you live (or he/she lives). Ex would know your Facebook account, or your latest Tweets. The ex would also take note of your cellphone number, email address, and the type of coffee you just had in Starbucks. You just can’t be stupid enough to let your ex track you down. If you don’t want to be stalked, then stop giving your ex the flavorful information he or she needs.

The third ex from hell is a poor melodramatic tormented soul who can’t move on and live by your memories together. There is nothing wrong with that, except that when he or she becomes really desperate to have you back, and you refuse, he or she ends up blogging about you, or posting sad stuff on Facebook, or worse, bombarding you with SMS that could make you feel guilt-stricken.

The fourth ex from hell is a criminal candidate (crime of passion?) This is is a creepy stalker plus a soul who can’t move on. This ex is gonna kill for you. This ex feeds on alcohol. This ex drunk-texts (or pretends to be drunk for sympathy). This ex could do whatever it takes for you to come back. Not enough? This ex is suicidal.

The fifth ex from hell is a friend snatcher who wants allies against you. This ex gathers minions to turn to the dark side and avenge you. What’s worse? These minions were once your friends. So they form a battalion and attack you anyhow.

There’s one thing in common with these exes: they’re all bitter. We can’t take it away from them. What should we do from these exes from hell? Either we file a restraining order, counter-attack, or simply ignore them.

If you were once one of the exes from hell, don’t fret, it’s okay. I was, too.

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