Ladies and gentlemen, it’s scorching hot once again.
I interrupt the DS updates since I really can’t find a way to organize my thoughts during this hot hot weather. Will have to dream about the long write-up for the page instead.
In 2007 I created the Candle Series in Multiply. The series shows how a candle in Los Baños bends due to extreme heat. Los Baños is a cooler place compared to Manila.
Initially the candle looked like this:
Then it looked like this:
A week later…
Then…
Then a telephone made out of wax:
If I were to put a tall candle here in Manila I won’t count weeks to come up with a deformed piece of wax.
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No matter how long I bathe I still feel like melting. Perhaps leaving Baguio is a wrong move for me and Dave. To digress, the only time I sweat in Baguio was when I had a bowl of Anak ng Putanesca in Oh My Gulay. Baguio was such a cool place that Dave and I ought to come back really soon. We don’t belong in Manila anymore. Seriously.
I passed out thrice this summer due to extreme heat. The last time I ranted about this insanely hot weather was in 2007, during the height of the election. Yes, it’s the El Niño effect and yes, it’s not funny.
We need to get back to Baguio really soon.
…or “Miss Tan” as my professors and instructors in Lyceum would fondly call me. I somehow got the feeling that I was the one and only, the notorious “Miss Tan” in our campus. I secretly indulged in that fact.
I was talking to one of my favorite professors in UPLB and he said “you’re getting married? So it’s goodbye, Sheenah Tan now?” I jokingly replied “Yes sir, finally, no more funny Sheenah B. Tan.”
So true.
Ever since I went to school, my classmates always called me “sinabitan” or “ginatan” or “bitan”. I never really liked the idea of playing with my name that I started to hate it, even when I was five.
Twenty years after, I’m finally having my dream come true: a change in my name. I used to think that there are only two ways on how to resolve my ugly name: buy another or marry somebody. I willingly and whole-heartedly chose the latter.
I am not turning my back against my dad’s name, it’s just that “Sheenah B. Tan” sounds funny enough during graduations and stuff. I’m glad I’ll be getting rid of it, but I’ll always have a “Tan” flowing in my blood stream.
So, if you all don’t mind, you might as well welcome me as Mrs. Sheenah dela Cruz come Sunday. Cheers! 
You guys know that. 
It’s just sinking in to me. I’m getting married. Finally, I’m feeling the most exciting part of my wedding. Dave and I have been busy working on the wedding — from the souvenirs, the guest list, documents to our own jobs that fund for the entire wedding. During those times I just thought okay I’m getting married, but now I’m thinking, I AM FINALLY GETTING MARRIED!
I admit that it wasn’t easy preparing for our really simple wedding. It was stressful and fun at the same time. And now that the wedding date’s getting closer and the preparations are all done, I only feel excited for me and Dave.
Dave and I have lots of people to thank for. To start with, we thank Floyd of SEO Philippines, Enzo, Earl, Derek and his supportive teammates. Enzo and Earl have been keeping us company in our humble abode.
We also thank our former boss (whose name I’d rather not disclose) who has kept me busy with lots of tasks. Ninong!
To my Plurkmates who were nothing but supportive (Dyza, Niña, Irish, Ninyo, Mico, Brinks…) To my Facebook chums whom I haven’t seen in ages (Tat, Ronjoy, Vhin, Lee, Jonas, Marvi, Lorie Genn…)
I thank my high school friends Aldo, JB, Olga, Mark, Jan Allen, Paul…
We thank Dave’s clients who’s been very generous to him.
My sisters Sharon and Shelani, Zeus and Jelai (you keep mamu proud!), Jayson and Carlo.
I thank my mom and dad who’s always been supportive and insanely excited about the wedding.
To Lola Fely who gives Dave lots of love.
To Rev. Ben Garcia for giving Dave and I advices and spiritual guidance.
To God who has always been there (even though we often don’t notice it). This is all for you.
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On February 28, my surname will change (at last!) but above all, Dave and I will change our life as well.
So this is the feeling of getting married. Indescribable but exquisitely fresh.
Here’s to the future Mr. and Mrs. John David dela Cruz.
Today is 21-Feb-2010. Last year’s 21-Feb, I finally decided to bury the hatchet, move the heck on, and love again. Last year’s February brought lots of pain for me, but it was worth it.
I now believe in the saying that “there’s gotta be one person in our life who is a match for you.” In Dave and I’s case, we’re a match. I finally found somebody who’d argue about the things I say, who’d comment on how I see things, and who would fight me when he thinks I’m wrong. Basically Dave and I were each other’s dream…and nightmare so to speak.
It took months before we realized that we needed each other to be with each other. I loved him so much that even during my hateful times, there was no person in this planet I turned to at the end of the day, except Dave.
Let us be specific.
November 27, 2008 was the day I first met Dave — a snobbish, moody and workaholic guy. I glanced at him thinking that he was sort of cute. He looked away.
Later in 2008 did I notice that he was a nice person. He was the first one who welcomed me in the office (by means of a group lunch?) It was kind of awkward for him to borrow my laptop in December but I didn’t mind — somehow I wanted to share a piece of me to a seemingly nice person whom I misjudged.
We became close as friends. I was with another guy that time and it didn’t cross my mind that Dave could want something more. He became my confidant, since apart from his being snobbish, he was also a bit mysterious.
He was the very first person I turned to when my previous boyfriend left me. All the way from Sampaloc he took a cab back to Kingswood just to hush me down. I cried it all out to him and he was just beside me, listening. I felt like I was talking to a long time friend.
He even left his iPod with me and strictly told me to listen to all the songs I was not familiar with. That way I will not remember anything about hurt since I’d feel like I’m in a totally new world. I willingly took his advice.
Since then I realized that he cannot be just more than a friend.
Dave and I have very little in common, but despite that incompatibility we still end up wanting, needing and loving each other every single day. It has been a year but really, time flies so fast.
Now I’m marrying the snobbish guy I first met in the office. He’s having my baby. I don’t know any other word to describe the feeling, except AMAZING.
Here’s to the guy I love, hate and love,
The one who always makes me cry
The one who loves my cooking that he blames me for his new weight,
The one who hates the way I hate,
The one who’s never too old to feel young,
The one who always like to give me everything,
The one I’d like to give me everything.
Here’s to Dave.
Happy first anniversary, honey. I love you so much.
(Buntis – pregnant; a woman carrying a baby in her womb.)
I’ve always accepted the fact that I’m having a baby — even if it means making more sacrifices than ever. I had to quit the job I loved the most to be able to adjust to my new body condition. And now that I’m perfectly used to my new body, I realized that the world doesn’t go my way anymore. In short, life has become more unfair to me now.
I decided to look for a full-time job since I have to help Dave with the expenses. We need money. Doing home-based jobs is not really that healthy for me, mainly because I get stuck at home alone and I don’t get to interact. Dave asked me a thousand times whether I’m ready to work again. I confidently said YES.
Something made me realize that being pregnant is not a blessing but a curse. A company decided to take away their job offer to me after realizing that I’m pregnant. I was fit for the job, which is why their initial decision was to hire me. A day after, they took away their offer. Because I’m pregnant.
I’m buntis but I’m not ‘disabled’.
I’m buntis but I can still function.
I’m buntis but my capabilities are not limited.
I’m buntis and I have equal rights like those who are otherwise.
I’m buntis but my world will not stop.
I’m buntis and that’s just about it.
Sad fact: some companies do not want to hire pregnant women because they won’t be gaining a lot from them; because they believe that pregnant women will cause them more trouble; and ultimately, they believe that pregnant women are tantamount to disabled women. Didn’t each one of them come from their mother’s womb? What a disgrace.
When I say I can work, I really mean it. I still haven’t signed any contract with the company so I have to move on. But I won’t go without my sentiments being heard. I’m buntis and should not be discriminated because of that.
Being pregnant is NEVER a curse. Do not make anybody make you, all pregnant women feel that. If things don’t go the way you planned them, it’s not your fault. The world is just missing a meaningful point.
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